I don't wanna go to Japan anymore. Band drains out the lives of all. I felt kinda really disappointed today, like y'know I had to bloody hell face reality. I felt damn bad to Asha but then what can I do? I mean like, I don't even know her, she doesn't even know me, I'm chinese and she's not, she's younger, she's quiet, yeah I just don't know her! There's gonna be like communication problem, how'd you expect me to sit with her on the bloody bus and even SLEEP with her? Like fine la, I know surely someone has to sacrifice, but I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I have to be the one who has to do that. Shit la. And while everyone will be enjoying their asses off, I would be the only one wishing to come home. And all my wonderful thoughts, like doing way funner stuff with E and J have totally disappeared. Fuck. Fuck band, fuck japan, fuck life. And fuck beetles. Shit. Just thinking about beetles and wasps can make me shiver. HELLO DISGUSTING BEETLE(S), WHY MUST YOU COME AND DISRUPT MY PERFECTLY PEACEFUL LIFE EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, AND WHY MUST YOU LOOK SO INTIMIDATING AND MAKE THAT FREAKY CLACKING SOUND WHEN YOU WALK. WHY DO YOU LOOK SO METALLIC AND NICE WHEN ACTUALLY YOU'RE JUST WAITING TO DIE IN MY ROOM. WHY DO YOU NOT STOP CRAWLING WHEN I TRY TO KILL YOU. WHY DO YOU COME AND DISTURB ME, YOU SCARY THING. Shit man. Beetles and wasps suck to the core.

Currently, my life cannot be considered life in its actual meaning.