It's dead.
Everything's dead.
I'm dead.
I'm not myself anymore.
Cause there's just too much changing.
I need the old back.
Really need it back.
I'm gonna buckle really soon.
It's a front I'm putting on.
And I can't hold on no longer.








I KNOW YOU HATE ME. SO WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME STRAIGHT IN MY FACE? IT'S EFFING HUMILIATING TO BE TREATED THIS WAY. YOU THINK YOU'RE DAMN PRETTY. WELL I BEG TO DIFFER. I THINK YOU LOOK DARN DISGUSTING. YOU LOOK AUTISTIC, GIRL. AUTISTIC. WHATEVER. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. I TRY NOT TO CARE. BUT THINGS GET OVERWHELMING AND I'M NOT MYSELF ANYMORE.







Life sucks.


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I was wondering
if I had all the money in the world
would I be a happy person.
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Whoa I swear TaoHuey is the most efficient girl on Earth. And sorry Clare for dropping a leetle piece of oily KFC chicken on you! Haha too bad you had it coming for being so camera crazy. (: OMG Hui Ying! Your house is the most amazing thing. Gosh I want to go there for section bbq! LOL I'm so glad we completed our video in one day! And Nicole was so spastic. Cannot tahan! Nicole + Baolin = funniest jokers of the day :D I was asking Strange what she wanted to eat from KFC and she went, " YES I WANT TO EAT" and I'm like HUH? So this shows that toilet doors cause miscommunication ;D Eating Tom Yam instant noodles that I proudly cooked by myself (that's the only thing I know how to cook. I don't even know how to cook rice :X). Just realised that there's lots to do during the holidays, and that there are so uber many common tests coming up, which means studying and more studying. :/BUT GOT NO TIME LUHHHHH. June holidays should last 2 months 8) Oh and EthanRuanJingTian is so handsome. :D Haha although no one will read this, let me relate a super embarassing incident - During band on thursday, I remembered that I had to hand my consent form to Mrs Koh for the geog field trip, so I dragged Nicole along with me. Finally found her mailtray after realising she was a Humans teacher, so as i was walking towards it gaily, I saw Mrs Jai and a few other teachers and I was like SHITTOS. So I bent my head down and kept looking at my consent form while telling Nicole to keep talking to me. But OMG! That hazardous overhanging fake flowerpot! I banged my head into that shitass thing! MANNNNN! So all the teachers were all staring at me and I pretended I was okay then I put the consent form in her mailtray and ran away. I swear it was damn embarassing okay. And I still can't get over it. ):

Forced to go for some trail walk later (??) Family bonding :/ AIYOH WASTE TIME :/


Hey, you're getting more annoying than before.


Ahh, Wanton Soup heals the soul. :D I have a certain liking to Canon in D. :D I'm like obsessed. It's a piece of cool music though I long gave up touching the piano. :/ S-a-d. Would have continued if I had that perseverence and determination THEN. Which was like 123456 years ago. Oh well. The musical journey's over anywayyy. I DESPERATELY WANNA MISS LEADERSHIP TRNG. Haha can't wait to see G.T in a tube and a cardigan! I'll be uber glad if I can really miss the leadership thing. Waste of money/time luh. THE WEATHER IS KILLING ME AND EVERYONE ELSE. Every morning I sweat like a sick duck. So gross, and what a way to start the day. Is this global warming? Then we should start using less plastic bags etc. There's so much homework to do. I wanna complete it asap but it's very impossible cause I know I will drag drag drag. ): I hate PE nowadays. It's the subject/period that I dread. I don't know why, but there's just this super weird feeling that I get, esp at the place where pe's gonna be carried out. Damn pathetic luh. :/ OKAY SHERMAINE YOU'RE SO FULL OF RUBBISH.

-

Horn section! Our shirt was a steal ;D That cheapbutgood Amk shop shoud officially be our F.Horn-hangoutcorner! HOHOHO. But anyway I enjoyed myself on Monday. And it was eventful okay! I think I walked the whole of Amk Hub like 20 odd times. Crazeeee. :D Reminds me of McFlurry and oh! Gummies are SO IN (: So is anything sweet sour & hot! Sheesh. Hahaha I'm growing fatter by the minute. ]:

I think I'm gonna fail my chinese. I DON'T WANT. ]':


Sometimes it feels really weird. It's as if the world has to entertain you and your moodswings. You and your acting. Sometimes I feel so self-conscious cause everything's so different. Sometimes I feel that I'm not good enough. Sometimes I wish I wasn't here. Like maybe if we could turn back time. I would I have an entirely different decision. And I'd be feeling different/indifferent. Sometimes I want the world to stop spinning just for a moment so I can recuperate and think about what the toot I'm doing with my life. But all that just won't never happen.


Not exactly happy as of now.

I am ugly. I feel fugly.

There's nothing left to say.

It's a race of the fittest.

-

Let's plan our escape.


I CANNOT DO TITRATION. ]:

And I want to finish my maths. I have to. I must. :/ Someone, give me the unprocrastinating genes. And I feel retarded cause of a trivial matter and I don't know why I feel like a fool just like that. D: BEATS ME.


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.

Thanks for being the bestest mum though I know we've not always been the bestest daughters. :D

ANYWAY. Today was pretty okay except for the fact that I didn't accomplish anything. Alamakanasai, I can't do linear law. :/ Thought it was okay in the beginning but starting to have second thoughts. Took the train to Plaza Sing after Han today as a family, it was quite an eventful outing haha! My sister settled her friend's bday present and we came back with a vacuum cleaner. So amusing HOHOHO! (: But at least we got stuff done. 'cept for me luh. :/ Wth. English is such a rubbish subject. I think that as long as we can speak proper english can carry a conversation, IT'S ENOUGH. No need for all those letter writing and presentations. Yucks. ): Wtf. I just want to get over and done with everything. And I hope this week can pass fast.

It's been a roller coaster ride, I swear.


Yay I'm done with tuition for this week. It's relaxation time now yo; HAHA! Alamakanasai, there's cross country on the last day of school JUST before the holidays, now what rubbish is that? I don't wanna go home sweating like I just emerged from an oven or something. But wth. Got no choice rightttt. 3.5 km SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME. Hahaha if i can walk that long it's already quite a miracle. :/ HAHAH okay no more brooding! Tomorrow! I can't wait! It's an 'I'm allowed to sleep in' morning, but I can never make myself sleep in. Anyway early mornings are good whattt (: Oh yes tomorrow! Haha, gonna go for Natasha's bday celebration at downtown east! &&&It's so coincidental cause my dad's side's M'Day celebration is at Downtown East Sakura! Now isn't that darn cool ;D Plus I'm missing catechism class and I'm currently feeling quite guilty, but God please forgive me, just this once! I'll be back next week I promise :D And sorry Allysa! You gotta stare at DYLAN yourself, maybe you can talk your parents into letting you miss just this once too!

-Writer's Block-

The dinner thing. It's gonna be uber weird cause the cousins there are soo anti social hao bu hao! It's like we're all living in a world of our own and there's nothing we've got in common with each other. So weird huh. BUT WHATEVER. Now the thing is what to wear? Shit everything in my wardrobe is seriously worn out. And I'm gonna be in the same outfit the whole day, so I predict I'll smell (: You know the thing is that you think of the ppl you're gonna be around with, and you get pressurized to be nicely attired to match the standard of the rest, cause you don't wanna look odd one out. The world works that way, superficial, but I guess no one's an exception in this thing. Ah well. That's alot of crap.

Oh and I was listening to Leavin' REPEATEDLY and I realized it's okay luh, not that bad, except for really weird sounds throughout the song. :/


Our name is our virtue;

Labels: Mothers' Day

SPIDER SPIDER go away. Yuckadeedoos. I tried catching it. But it was difficult, hopping out of my grasp, sickening striped-leetle-thing. Haha but whatever. Go lay eggs on my bed, sorry leetle thing, they'll all just be squashed by me! HOHO! :D Okay I haven't done anything today. As usual. Hurhur. Anyway good luck Nidya for your exam tmr! Bet you wouldn't even freak out luh, (: Cherms, look on the bright side. Yeah I admit it's difficult when everything seems like it's not going the right way. You wouldn't even be reading this, but wth, just try and be happier alright. By the end of the year we can publish our anti-eww book already. It'll be the best-selling book. I promise.

I wanna drift away. Move to Pluto. Or somewhere else.

















Yeah man, I'm pissed. I can't even do simple maths sums, like solving a pooty leeetle quadratic equation. And there's still pooty coordinate geometry which I have no idea why I'm learning, I don't see how I'm gonna use it when I'm old, like maybe if i'm bored I'll draw a line and make myself find the friggin length between the two points? No I don't think so luh. :/ DAMN THE TAI GUO TAI TAI RUBBISH. ): The workload WASN'T and is not spread out fairly, so now like half the group contributed but the other half didn't do anything? But I tell myself, that it's all gonna be over tomorrow. Yes, it's gonna be over tmr. Group work was never this shitty.

Tried doing maths in the morning, but I was lifeless. My brain cells weren't working. Guess they won't work for quite some time. Made me feel really stupid that I couldn't even keep to the time. And for some reason I get so pissed at my own ugly handwriting I don't feel like doing anything anymore.

buck up.