Nobody reads this dead piece of shit anyway. So I'll just update cause I feel like updating. {:

Can't get enough of DBSK. I think I'm hooked, damn. Overload! I love Fox sweets. Haaaa I feel incoherence coming along. ZZzzz.

I got to thinking about how useless I am as a student. I feel like I'm lagging like shit. I can't keep up with time. It's totally moving against my will. H.Chinese Prelims on Monday like dang to the maxxx I'm going to die I am so unprepared I haven't touched chinese in such a bloody long time. I can only hope that it's not gonna be so bad. Cross my fingers. Ahhh feel like shit.

Ktoodlesall.


Oh gosh I love A Cursive Memory's The Piano Song. _

& So it goes,

Indescribable, I can't put my feelings into words. Why do I always feel so jammed up inside? It just doesn't make sense, rahhh, I should stop feeling so much about things. Well anyway went to Compass to get presents for the Hornies. Kinda like no mood, but hmmm, maybe it's the weather.

I h88888 my hair I wanna snip it all off seriously I should just cut bald and wear a wig. ZZzzz.

I wanna do alot of things right now.

• Pig out at Seoul Garden with S-9
• Play bball with J
• Hang out with Est (Imy friend, and all your craziness)
• Regain those long, cool phone calls with Jz
• Talk to Jolene cause it's been long.
• Teach Clare to eat with B's friends, haha! :D
• Go crazy with Mia over BOF
• Shopping with CW

I guess all of it will happen in time to come. I was just reading through my older posts and it's kinda funny to actually think about how you viewed things before and how everything will and must change. During morning reflections (omg I was actually listening), this thing hit me pretty much: The only constant thing is change. I don't like change, never liked it. It just turns your world upside down and make you cry and make you have moodswings.

Ohmychickadee, mutation suckzxzxz! I don't get a single thing Mrs Chaiw is squealing about, her voice just fills my eardrums and drowns out everything else, I don't get no shit of what she's teaching, damn I'm so dead. Mrs Gay, please come back, I'm sorry that I like pissed you off before but pleaseeee for our sake please come back? ]:

I wanna relearn the piano, and I wanna learn how to play the violin. Really. All those people out there who can play these instruments, I'm enviouzzz of all of you man! Lucky peeps, haha.

I will not stop loving -

Rain hits the pavement.

Crying relieves me of my emotions. I haven't cried like that in such a long long time. Not even after SYF, but I let it all out last night. I just felt so alone, so weary, so tired, so frustrated. Throughout mass tears kept threatening to flow down, but I forced myself to keep it back. &I came home and cried till my double eyelids were gone this morning. But thanks J, you're really an awesome friend & I will die if I were to lose a friend like you. I thank God that I have friends around me who care, and are willing to give up their time for an insignificant person like me. I really thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. I love all of you very much okay! {:

Passion Play was great, and I think it was very successful cause we managed to survive through so many obstacles like the power failure (wth) and all. Taking a break from CL for awhile together with Allysa (Mrs Ji Hoo - you happy now? Haha) Allysa! Cannot go back on your word okay. :D

There's always the problem of prelims, Os, homework on the back of my mind, arghhhhh, now all I can think about is how to complete the work due on Monday, & damn, I really hope I don't fail next week's common tests, I feel so unprepared, so burnt. I just pray that God will bring me through this.

I'm getting a headache. >:[


Bio SPA tmrw, I really have no idea what to do.

Urghhhh Math CTs next Wednesday, I h88888 plane geometry much! I forgot all that I've learnt. Weeeell.

Stoooopid mosquitos! All you do is bite, suck, bite, suck and bite and suck people the whole day, so annoying! Go suck some other animal, why meeeee, now I'm itching like hell ALL OVER.

!

I shouldn't be here. I need to think alot, though. Think about things.

Kay, so one day to Good Friday, man I really hope Passion Play turns out flawless. I seriously hope I can do the prop running thing well, like I really don't wanna trip and fall right in front of an entire audience of innocent, cute little children and their parents staring at me with their mouths gaping at me in horrorrrrrrr. >:(

Hopeful outing with J^2SE tmrw. I think we needa catch up badly.

Ponder.


Now I'll really miss band.

I'll really miss the section.

I'll really miss the ever so weird Mrs Lim.

I'll really miss the motherly Mrs Tan.

I'll really miss the scoldings we got.

I'll really miss the praises we got as well.

I'll really miss Clare, for her accompanying me to the toilet, comforting me when I cried, telling me that it's okay, complaining with me about band, always being by my side, always there. Thank you, Clare.

I'll really miss Baolin, for her certain strangeness which has been a rather common part of my band life, for the cynical way she views things, balancing out how we see others, so that it's not too mean or not too kind either. & Baolin, I just wanna say that it's okay not to cry. I know you're crying inside, but it's okay, cause we've tried our best. Baolin, it's okay.

I'll really miss Victoria, because there'll be no more mutual bird watching sessions anymore, because we won't be able to laugh together anymore, because we won't be able to beam over Kim Bum anymore.

I'll really miss Huiying, because of her dedication towards band, the fervour she has for life and everything around her, the Show obsession, and I thank you for the time you loaned your house to us for the Farewell video, because these small things really count and we remember, deep down in our hearts.

I'll really miss Nicole, for her easygoing personality, for her encouragement, for her love towards the section. I'll miss you, Nicole.

I'll really miss Adilah and Asha as well. Thank you for loving the Horn Section.

To all of you, thanks for putting up with me, as a not so perfect SL, I apologise for the times that I sucked as an SL, for the times that I could have been better. I'm sorry, and I thank all of you for the experience that I've had.

Ms Sia and Mr Ong, thank you for all the guidance through the 4 years. You needn't work yourselves up, scold us time and time again for nothing, needn't conduct with such passion, and ever cheer us up after everything. But you did. You did because you had passion for music and you loved us. Really, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

We only know how to treasure when we lose it.

My life in band ends here.


I cried. We cried. For the band, for our hard work, for all the effort, for the supporters, for our seniors, for our conductors. & I am really really so exhausted, I think it's been really long since I felt this way. I thought disappointement should come once in awhile. Reality proved me wrong. Everyone's morale was crushed, stepped on, buried, when the results were announced. We tried to be satisfied, to clap, to cheer. Things don't go the way you want them too, usually. So what did it all add up too? I think what I'm feeling now is something more than sadness. It's something like empty. I think all of us feel this way. Even the teachers, and Mr Ong and Ms Sia. I feel sad because we have let them down, because life is so unforgiving.